Essay Collection -- Iron Gate's Best Essays from the BDSM Community

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Featured Essay

Lessons Learned by kaya
Filed in: humor, lessons, quips

As anyone who reads my journal could tell you, I am far from the "perfect" slave. I slip and fumble, make mistakes, make the same one again... and again... routinely. But, tirelessly, my Master, saint that He is, never gives up on me. And over the course of time I have learned a thing or t[...]

Newest Essays

"My Way or the Highway" by kaela
Filed in: needs, wants, compromise, balance, expectations

As a submissive, I have needs and wants. While it may be difficult to distinguish between the two, I know what makes me tick and what makes me happy. And for me, submitting to my master, pleasing him, surrendering to his will plays a large factor in this. It is not codependence, but [...]

Why staying "in the closet" isn't necessarily a bad thing by Phrodeaux
Filed in: family, bdsm, acceptance, approach, in the closet

The question often comes up when I'm with other BDSM-oriented friends: "What do your family and friends think?The answer, for us at least, is simple: "We've never brought it up."We're not ashamed of our BDSM proclivities. Far from it! We're both very overjoyed that we've found each ot[...]

Five Phases of Punishment by Amsterdam News Desk
Filed in: punishment, discipline, process

Punishing is serious business. And good and effectful domestic punishment should be executed with care, a sharp for ritual and most of all, carefully planned and timed to create optimal effect. Classic domestic discipline can be dedived in five - equally important - phases t[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite, part 2 by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

Jon's Speech Hi, there! Polly has said the bulk of what we want to talk about tonight, but I do have a bit to add. I want to talk some about the two SM life styles, including some good things about the SM subculture--which will proba[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

The following talks were given by Jon and Polly to a diverse audience on the IRC channel #surrender_discuss on October 8, 1996. Polly and Jon were asked to speak on the subject "Defining the BDSM Life Style."DEFINING THE BDSM LIFE STYLE:THE ESSENTIAL PREREQUISITEHello, my name is Polly Pea[...]

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Most Popular Essays

Qualities of A Successful Dominant by Polly Peachum
Filed in: dominance

"The Problems Started After I Moved In" When talking to submissive women about their lives and relationships, the most frequent cause of sorrow and difficulty that gets mentioned is the transition from a non-live-in D&S relationship to a full-time live-in situation. Relationships that[...]

What NOT to say to your Dominant... by Author Unknown
Filed in: humor

Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry the vein above his right eye throbs. "Quit it!" "Ow, damnit!" "I'm hiding that toy when you go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words. "Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous[...]

Orgasm Control by gina
Filed in: orgasm control, denial, training, submissive training

My Master and i practice Orgasm Control which is also known as Release Training. It is NOT the same thing as Orgasm Denial which both my Master and i do not feel is healthy. We have an agreement that i will never go longer than one month without having an orgasm. Usually [...]

Strict Self-Bondage by David Stein
Filed in: bondage

If nothing else, self-bondage has the advantage (as an anonymous wit once said of masturbation) that you don't have to look your best. You needn't impress or arouse anyone else. You can do it when you want, where you want (up to a point!), whatever way you want, and for as long as you want. But the [...]

Submissive's Sample Set of Positions for Memorization by Author Unknown
Filed in: submission, training, positions

For Submissives of any Gender. Intended for Consensual Fantasy Play Only. ================ "Attention" Positions ================ 0 Standing upright, legs spread moderately, hands clasped behind back, above ass. 1 As 0, but hands are clasped behind neck. ================= Spanking Pos[...]

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